This week I have mostly been:

· Realising that I have a problem with exceptionally tall people as well as the dwarf phobia. (See photo. It made me throw up in my mouth a little bit.)
· Doubting my sanity – I have just booked a mini-break. In Beirut.
· Listening to ‘Poster of a Girl’ by Metric. Any song with the lyrics ‘…coming in my pants…’ is alright with me.
· Loving my new TV. My Fascist Mother (intentional caps) never allowed me to have one in my bedroom. But I’m a grown up now - which is why I have been watching cartoons in bed. The main reason for the purchase is to escape the cats in my new apartment. And the fact that my flatmate watches ‘the soaps’. Jesus wept.
· Trying to keep cats out of my room so they don't claw the shit out of my new furniture/get their hair on my things/spread evil. Delete as appropriate.
· Discovering just how many things go with Arabic bread. Jam? Check. Branston pickle? Check. Mango chutney, hummous, salad? Check check check!
· Getting used to the fact the every taxi driver asks if I'm married and telling me I'm beautiful when I say no. You're not getting a better tip mate. And I'm answering a resounding YES! next time.
· Trying (and failing) to have a night in.
· Enjoying my new single status by sleeping diagonally, making eye contact with other men, watching films without French subtitles and not listening to R&B.
· Feeling smug about the snow/slush in the UK.
· Shopping. It’s like a sport here.
· Finding UPWs from the weekend. That’s ‘Unidentified Party Wounds’ by the way. Five bruises and counting…
· Attempting to ask people in subtle ways what the hell I will need for this impending camping weekend so I don’t sound like a total townie. Sturdy shoes? A flask? It’s becoming less and less appealing.
· Re-reading The Secret History by Donna Tartt for the third time. When are you going to write another book Donna? You lazy, scarily intelligent bint.
· Looking forward to the weekend - and it's here!

h