Sights and sites

So, I survived camping and actually had a great laugh despite going to the toilet behind a sand dune for two days and embarrassing myself in a bizarre balance-related drinking game faux pas. I’m not known for my ability to stay upright at the best of times but I think this particular problem was related to altitude and not alcohol. Probably.

We did lots of dune bashing, saw some camels, ate dubious barbecue food and successfully ruined a cool box with feta cheese and wetwipes, which resulted in the smell of nappies spreading across the campsite like something from 28 Days Later.

It seems we were in ‘the largest sand desert in the world’ – what other kind of deserts are there?

On the way back we stopped off at a car museum owned by an eccentric sheikh who has, not only Mercedes in every colour, but also the world’s largest car which is shaped like a globe and featured on Top Gear about 10 years ago. Needless to say, exhaustion made this a truly trippy experience, not helped by a GIANT Dodge truck the size of a house. Side effects from the cool box may well have resulted in hallucinating – but no, the photos are here to prove it.

That is a big car, big goat (there is a technical name I'm sure) and a normal sized man. You can imagine my confusion.

After such a budget weekend (always a refreshing change but not to be repeated for a few months) I was in need of some good nights out which this weekend promptly delivered. A cracking rooftop BBQ apartment warming – a ‘party-cue’ if you will – kicked it off and I was duly punished the next day for mixing wine, vodka and rum. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: never again.

After a trip to the souk, a trip on an abra and some abuse of the Visa Electron in Topshop (oh yes - the flexible friend for 15 year olds is widespread in Arabland), the bright lights of Dubai beckoned that evening so we hit some bars, met some vile men with god-awful chat up lines (eg “let’s play a game – I bet I can guess which of you have known each other the longest” Umm... WHAT?), had a laugh at their expense and ended up eating shwarma until 4.30am. Shwarma is not a euphemism, it is a snack.

Confession time: I appear to have booked tickets for a music filled weekend. Innocent on the surface until you understand who I will be seeing. Iron Maiden and Jamie Cullum. Not performing together – although that would be legendary – but at two separate festivals. I plan to numb the pain with over-priced beer and hope I go mute so to avoiding heckling the oversized toddler. Frankly, the audio rape that he committed on Jeff Buckley’s ‘Lover You Should Have Come Over’ means he is burning in hell already, so nothing I can do to him here on Earth can compare. As for Iron Maiden, it’s not my thing at all but The Prodigy are on afterwards. Woop.

As redemption for these soon-to-be-sins, I am providing you with a list of my current favourite websites:

www.neatorama.com - a collection of some of the most interesting and visually entertaining stuff from the internet

www.timesonline.com – even though I DESPISE the new format because it makes it so hard to find Style magazine and Cassandra. Which brings me to...

www.ariel-leve.com – girl genius. Nothing more to say on the subject

http://postsecret.blogspot.com – the blog that followed the art project and book of the same name. The artist asked people to anonymously send artwork secrets to him on postcards. Contains such gems as “I gave up Jesus for lent” and “Attn parents: when you are rude to us we dislike your children. We can’t help it. We’re human. From your kid’s daycare providers.”

www.facebook.com – if you’re not signed up just give into the peer pressure ok? It makes staying in touch so much easier

www.popbitch.com – because I’m a step above Heat ok?

http://girlwithaonetrackmind.blogspot.com – but Dubai won’t let me read it anymore because it's dirty stuff

www.last.fm – it’s a music revolution

www.imdb.com – crap design but it saves my sanity when I’ve seen a film and can’t remember where else I have seen the girl who played Christian Bale’s wife in The Prestige (advert for Starter For Ten)

www.nixonnow.com - even after all these years, I think Nixon watches are the coolest ever. If you find yourself with some extra cash please buy me The Chalet in white snake. Ta

h